Did you ever watch a couple floating effortlessly by on the dance floor, each partner anticipating the next move as naturally as if they were born dancing together?
I wasn't Fred Astaire to Dana's Ginger Rogers, but when the music played, whether we were in our living room or on the dance floor at the Navy Officers' Club, we loved dancing together.
It is a rare and wonderful thing when your perfect dance partner is also your perfect life partner.
Danalee was my beloved wife for 26 years and 20 days. She was the mother of our sons, Patrick and Andrew. She was a woman of beauty, style, poise and compassion. Her dazzling smile could light up a room and her elegance and grace as a dancer touched every aspect of her life. Classically trained as a ballerina and a talented professional in floral and interior design, Dana was just as comfortable frying up a little boy's catch-of-the-day as she was being the gracious hostess of our annual holiday open house. Danalee was the heart of our home and family. She was my dearest friend, my passionate soul mate, my butterfly dancer, the love of my life.
In 2003 when she was diagnosed with Stage IV Ovarian Cancer at just 51 years old, our perfect world collapsed. She died on September 26, 2006, but she might have lived if we'd known the symptoms.
For nearly a year prior to diagnosis, Danalee had symptoms of Ovarian Cancer: 1) pelvic and abdominal pain, 2) urinary frequency and urgency, 3) abdominal bloating, and 4) difficulty eating; feeling full quickly. She repeatedly went to the doctors. They didn't recognize the symptoms.
Had we known that it is a red flag if those symptoms are experienced for a period of more than three weeks, then we would have insisted on a medical screening for Ovarian Cancer. Had Dana's ovaries been removed right away, there is a 95% chance she would have survived. Early detection is the key to surviving Ovarian Cancer, but although ONE in SIXTY-NINE (1 in 69) women may get the disease, the symptoms are so common they are often overlooked until it is too late. It is up to us, as husbands, fathers, sons and brothers, to know the symptoms and, if they persist, to get medical attention for the women we love.
My Danalee died peacefully in my arms, knowing she had brought nothing but joy to everyone who knew her. "I hope you dance," she wrote to me before she died. But I didn't dance. I dove into deep despair, and then... at 5 a.m. on February 1, 2007 she danced back to me in a dream. Dana danced a grand jete across a brilliant sky of sparkling green stars, and later that day, her sister, Belinda, unaware of the dream, brought me a lovely ceramic urn she had created for her sister inscribed with the words: "I'm waiting for you, dancing in the stars." Dana was, indeed, dancing very nearby.
Waiting in the jewelry box on our bedroom dresser, the Butterfly Ballet Pendant I designed for Dana's birthday back in 1984 was about to become the new symbol of hope for Ovarian Cancer. Dana loved unique jewelry so I sculpted the Pas de Trois (Dance for Three) pendant of wax and cast it in old dental gold to celebrate her passion for dance. It was a one-of-a-kind necklace for a one-of-a-kind woman. It is now the centerpiece for my new company, Butterfly Ballet. Danalee's Butterfly Ballet is raising awareness and funding for Ovarian Cancer research and fostering the love of dance. My beautiful Danalee now dances for you.
